Sunday, April 10, 2011

Who Are You?

When you look in the mirror who do you see? Is it the same person everyone outside your window sees? Who do you believe? Yourself or everyone that passes an opinion your way? Your identity is what puts your mark in this world, a part of your legacy when you leave it. Unfortunately many people struggle with this simple concept of knowing who they are.

People have identity issues for so many reasons. It could be a matter of ethnic background, insecurity with their physical appearance, the need to fit in a certain group of people in society. Whatever the reason may be we all have had a certain question fall into your brain, "Who am i"?

Its so important to not only know who you are, but to own it and have no regrets about it. Otherwise you will be adding to the list of things in life that will give you frustration. Having an identity also helps you solidify your confidence, command respect without having to fight for it. Theres nothing worse than not knowing who you are and what you stand for.

Some people live decades before coming to terms with who they are. I am 27 and i didnt "find myself" until i was 25. You go through so much in life and the older you get you realize "this is who i am and its okay". You get more comfortable with yourself as the years go by. I grew up with a biracial mother, and spent the majority of my years living in the suburbs. I was never exposed to the things inner city people have. I went to schools where until highschool i was the only black girl in the classroom. No one looked like me. I didnt grow up with much money but wasnt on welfare. My parents did the best they could to not expose me to their struggles. Never lived in a house, moved from apartment to apartment ever 2 years due to evictions. Never got an allowance like most white families do for their kids. Long story short just because i grew up in white areas didnt mean i lived like one. Even though theres white people around me didnt mean i didnt know what is was like to be black. My family is Black! Ever since i moved into the suburbs i had adversity from white and black kids. They have no issues making you feel "different". It didnt take long until i was called a nigger in front of an entire classroom by a boy that felt like i didnt belong there. I was the token black person. If you are around nothing but white people how do you learn how to act black???

It wasnt until middle school when i was exposed to more black peers. By this point i had been influenced by white culture. I was excited to see more people that looked like me, unfortunately black kids at my school wasnt kind to me either. They tried to beat me up, made fun of me everyday, excuded me from many things, all because i acted too "white". So to blacks im not black enough and to whites im too black for them. Theres nothing worse than not knowing where you fit in. So what does a young person do? Be whatever you have to be to fit in, learn to adapt to any group of people. I felt like a chameleon, constantly changing myself to seem normal to others. When i go home its the only place i felt like myself. I listened to rock, because of my sister, and gangsta rap because of my brother. I was always influenced by no 2 same things at the same time. Back then i felt weird for it, but as the years go by you get sick of trying to be what others want you to be and having to explain to them why i do things they dont do. its too much work. So when you get sick of justifying who you are you simply realize you are fucking AMAZING and ACCEPT YOURSELF!!

I will be everything mixed into one and not feel bad about it anymore. If someone calls me weird i will say thank you with a smile. If a black person says i talk white i will say "no i speak properly", If a white person says im acting super black for when i get mad i will say "no i am upset and ready to slap the shit out of you like the next person, anger has no color". I enjoy being the only person like me, its what makes me unique and if someone doesnt accept me for me than they are closed minded and dont deserve to have me in their life. A person that loves and cares for you should like you for who you are and should never make you feel uncomfortable for it.

Be who you wanna be folks! If you have issues with how you look if you cant change it then ACCEPT it and embrace it. Every day we get older so how you look today is gonna be the best you will ever look. When you get old and wrinkled you will wish you appreciated your looks during your youth. Theres no such thing as acting one race or another, everyone has been exposed to different things in life which makes them who they are, not color. Wear whatever the hell you want, listen to the music you want, Act HOW YOU WANT!!! Theres no wrong way to be except for not being you! Fitting in isnt important, being yourself is. Who are you??? Only you have the answer for that.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

How To "Deal"

If anyone knows about heartache its me. I've been through it all. When i see another girl going through something my instinct is to soothe them from that pain. Men seem to have no conscience these days but i want girls to understand a thing or two about men.

Men are very simple creatures, not because they are easy to deal with, but rather they aren't smart enough to be complex and have layers lol. What you see is what you get with a man. If they don't seem interested then 9 times out of 10 they aren't. Men don't waste time on things and if they don't seem into you then the best thing for you to do is move on to someone who appreciates your time. So many girls want a man that doesn't even take the time to give you what you want out of him. Theres more that we want from a man besides his physical, we want his heart too. When you have a mans heart he will be singing the chorus to Bruno Mars "Grenade". Men will do ANYTHING for a woman if he's truly invested in you, if he makes you suffer even for a second then hes not worth the attention. Why give him what he wants if he doesn't give you what you want? People that truly love you are willing to compromise.

Getting over someone is hard but not impossible. A man taught me that the best way to get over someone is "distraction". As soon as you start thinking about them simply start doing something else to distract yourself from dwelling on your thoughts. Stay busy, be around people that make you laugh, have new goals for yourself. Dwelling on the past only keeps you where you are, and you want to keep life going. No man is worth you being sad, EVER. Hes not calling, not returning your calls and theres a reason. If he wanted you HE would be with you. Its as simple as it sounds..

If he doesn't want you than its his loss, God must have someone better for you.. in the mean time enjoy life, you will be okay.. i promise :)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Overcoming Adversity

Adversity is something that is inevitable in life. As long as you are on this Earth people will test you, Cars will break down, you run out of resources, friendships come and go, relationships wear down heavy on you, Lights get cut off, deals fall thru, jobs get lost, minds get lost. With all of the bad things that happen to us on a daily basis we must learn something, there will ALWAYS be adversity, but its not about what you go thru, its how you move past it. Nothing lasts, good or bad, you have to find a way to put life on cruise control. Its not as easy as it may seem and im sure i need to take my own advice but people need to know that everything can be turned around. You just need faith, and patience. If you look back on all of the tough times you endured, what do you think about them today? Are you better? Stronger? Regret how you handled it? Do you feel better than you did at that time? When you go through hell, rock bottom, you can only go up. If you think that way then everything will be easier to go through. I personally have been through alot but to me its growing pains and in the future i have the choice to either let it defeat me or let it condition me.

So what, we're not allowed to have weak moments? We cant make a mistake? Be wrong about how they went about something? The answer is YES! People cant be perfect all of the time, forgiveness heals all..if you have friends or family that TRULY have your back and love you then their loyality will never go awry. If it does than that shows they never had your back in the first place. Seperate yourself from people that dont show you that they love you. Support from loved ones is CRUCIAL in tough times. Thats when they are needed the most. Theres no time for egos and animosity. See past that and wonder why they are really acting out. Know who they are deep inside and not judge them by the action itself. When you know and love someone you give them the benefit of the doubt, and when someone recognizes their faults then let the negativity go.

When adversity is all around you support is so important. No one in this world can make it alone, and if they can that world for them is a lonely place. Be a good person and stay positive, even when others cant. Negativity gets you nowhere. As soon as people recongnize that people arent perfect 365 days a year its easier to deal with them. If i gave you hell for one day and i gave you laughter and love for 364? Then know grudges and negativity isnt worth holding on to, its foolish. When the dust settles you will see things for what they really are.

Tough times dont last, Tough people do..

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Quote Of The Day

"A wise man told me don't argue with fools
Cause people from a distance can't tell who is who" -JayZ