Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Writers Block

I wanted to create this blog to inspire women by my writing about my personal relationships and giving advice based off of them. I posted over time the things ive written within the past couple of years. In January i had endured another failed relationship, and for the first time i dont wanna write about it. Maybe i will in time but just not now, not yet. I dont wanna dwell on it, i just wanna focus on being happy. My best work used to come from heartache, but im hoping my new writings will be able to come from joy as well. Please be patient with me, it just has to come to me. This is how im dealing with my heartache, simply moving on to better things.

MiQah is Crafty too!!

When i get time i enjoy being crafty and making things for ppl.. i made this glass for my bestie's 27th Birthday. I call it her "Diva" Cup.






Monday, March 29, 2010

Comic Session: via: SexyPresh.blogspot.com

Tash over at SexyPresh.blogspot.com was dope enough to put this together.. i was crackin up when i saw this..





Friday, March 26, 2010

QHolla Interview (Rap Attack 92Q)

Q speaks on coming out of his 4 year hiatus with his new hit "WTF" , the current state of hip-hop, Wacka Flocka, and what his plans are for this time around in the music industry. Enjoy

Friday, March 19, 2010

Bmore Hype: Q-Holla


New Track from Bmore's "Q".. he's back from taking a break on his music and his new track "WTF" is generating crazy buzz in the DMV.. check it out..

Click Link to listen ( Q "WTF" )

nrgtheory.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/01-What-The..-Dirty.mp3

Monday, March 15, 2010

Lesson Learned... My 10 Tips On Relationships

I have been through a series of relationships... 7 to be exact. All but one were good, the rest were bad situations. But i managed to come out of all these situations taking my lessons with me and hoping to help someone with the mistakes i endured over the years. I was always in love with the idea of being in love, a hopeless romantic as they call it. I believed if i found someone that had the same viewpoints on love as i did, we would have that storybook love you see in the movies. Unfortunately its not that simple, you will be very lucky if you get it right first time. Here are some things i have learned that maybe you can take with you in your travels to find love.




-Tip #1: Do Not "Love Hop"

From the age of 16 i was constantly in a relationship, i was never single.. if i ended one relationship id jump right into another one to soothe the pain. That does temporarily help but if you are not fully over the last person you will complicate the new situation.. leading to a big headache. You will have issues that you blame the new guy for before he even steps foot in the door. A person will only deal with that mess for only so long. Another reason why its good to have a gap between relationships is because you need time to process what has happened, and to get yourself make together. When u left the other relationship most times we feel like that person was a part of us and now we no longer feel whole. You cannot go into another relationship not feeling good enough to stand on your own two feet. Be okay being alone, otherwise you will develop dependency issues.


-Tip #2: Believe the Signs..

When we first fall in love with someone you feel like you are on a natural high, so its hard to see things that may not seem right. Keep your eyes open to what is going on around you, don't lose sight of that. Also if your gut is showing you things that don't seem right DON'T IGNORE IT! You will ALWAYS look back and know your gut feelings were right. Even if you don't understand why you feel that way. If something doesn't seem right, most likely it isn't.. we have that sensor inside of us for a reason. Intuition takes us ladies a long way. If you think hes cheating, sweetie most likely he is, screw playing interrogator or inspector gadget.. it just will make you seem insecure.. if you gotta do all that then you don't trust him, and if you don't trust him you shouldn't be with him.


-Tip#3: Cut the Cord..

Whatever decision you decide to make with your relationship, make it and wash your hands of it.. the thinking is meant to be made BEFORE you make the decision NOT after. Feel ok about what you do so that there is no regret in the future. We have a tendency to be very see-sawish about things and let ppl deter our decisions so easily. It shouldn't be that simple for someone to do that. Make your own decisions and then stick with it.




-Tip#4: You Deserve what you put up with

If you KNOW what you are dealing with is Bullshit... and everyone and they mama told you shit wasn't right and you still fucking with them?? Don't blame anyone but yourself.. seems like we get in a state of denial hoping it isn't true. Denial doesn't change a situation, it only causes more frustration in the relationship. No one should be in a relationship where theres an obvious Elephant in the room. Deal with the problems promptly at hand. If you let them Bullshit you they will happily continue to do it, its not affecting them like it is you.. If its your first time dealing with something its understandable, but if you KNOW whats happening and you are simply holding on to hope, then shame on you, snap out of it and come back to reality.


-Tip#5: YOU CANT CHANGE A MAN

How many times does this have to be spoken about before women get this, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you CANT CHANGE A MAN!!!!!!! They will do what they want to do no matter how you contribute to it. They will change when they want to change. If you ever hear a man say "i want you to mold me", or "i know you can help me be a better man".. its BULLSHIT.. You knew who he was before, and it wont stop because you are in the picture.. you think it is but he's just keeping those flaws more dormant and out of your sight. When a man tells you or shows you who they are, BELIEVE IT!!! Theres nothing you can do to correct that mans wrongs... you can change their clothes, but that's about it, the loser is still under those clothes.

-Tip#6: Know who YOU are

Alot of women think they need a man to help them define who they are. We all love a warm spot next to us in the bed but believe me when i tell you that when you find happiness all by yourself you will feel 10 times better about life than finding it when a man enters your life. If you cant go to the movies by yourself or enjoy a day without anyone around you all day, then you are not self sufficient. The only people we should be that attached to is our family. If they love you they will stick around.. and men can see when you are okay with yourself, makes you more appealing to them. Theres nothing worse than a woman that seems weak, cant stand on her own feet. If you can act like you will be fine without them it will make them appreciate you alot more, and will work hard to make sure not to lose you.


-Tip#7: Accept them for who they are or leave

Like i said before you cannot change someone, if they aren't compatible and you aren't willing to stick it out then its not going to work. No one is perfect so if you are expecting perfect compatibility then you are in for a rude awakening. A relationship basically is dealing with the cards you were dealt. If you love someone you will be willing to tolerate their flaws (just make sure the flaws aren't bad things that will hurt your relationship).. Love someone for them, there is no such thing as perfection. There always be something he does that totally irks you (ie: doesn't put down the toilet seat, snores, sloppy, stubborn) but that's THEM.. if they aren't willing to change it or compromise then let it be.. its not the worst thing in the world.


-Tip#8: NO EXES!!!!!!!

When you are in a relationship on NO levels is it ok to still have your exes in your life!!!! I don't care what you think is ok, THIS IS NOT OK!! They are an ex for a reason, leave them in your past. Its not fair for the new mate to deal with this. It doesn't matter if y'all are "friends" or one is in a relationship so they shouldn't have to worry about anything, its bullshit and that person deep down isn't ok with it. Cut that mess OFF!!


-Tip#9: Don't just meet their representative

Most times the person we fall in love with is the person they want us to see.. so basically don't rush into anything.. take it slow. Time will eventually reveal someones true colors. Their representative is the person you first see on the surface. Also don't look at that person as being the one you settle down with.. have no expectations so that you wont be so disappointed when it doesn't pan out the way you thought it would.

-Tip#10: Don't FIGHT fate

If that man loves you he isn't going anywhere. If that man is asking to be let out, LET HIM!!! Don't fight to keep him around, you will seem desperate. You should NEVER have to break your back to keep him around. Let that man walk out the door if he wants to.. and let HIM regret the decision.. you didn't make it.. HE did. If he left then he didn't appreciate you for who you were. Also VERY IMPORTANT, don't blame yourself for why it didn't work out unless its obvious it was something you did. You can do EVERYTHING right but if that man isn't ready for a commitment he will leave you or screw you over. (CANNOT CHANGE A MAN to be ready).. So don't beat yourself up about why he left.. when he says "Its not you its me.." hes telling the TRUTH. If he loves you he will come back, keep your dignity and don't chase him.


I hope these help for the women pursuing a healthy relationship... sometimes you have to experience things, learn from them in order to prosper in life. I have been through every messed up thing in relationships but I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life and I'm SINGLE!! I don't have excess baggage, no exes I'm still messing with, I'm not bitter.. when the right man comes along i will know all the right things to do. If he leaves, *shrugs* fuck it.. :)

Monday, March 8, 2010

Just In Case Yall Aint Know....







Shirt Designed By: MiQah

My New Tatts

I have waited 26 years to finally have the guts to get tatted and now im addicted!! I already have 2 and i want 3 more..



New Video: "Imma Be" (Full Version) Black Eyed Peas

New Video: "Roger That" Young Money

New Video: "Drop The World" Lil Wayne f/ Eminem (explcit version)

New Freestyle: Trey Songz "Lemonade"

Im Not a Biter, Im a Writer..

Alot of things i may write about are solely based on MY experiences, and the lessons ive learned along the way. Just because i feel a certain way does not mean i DONT feel empathy for the opposing target in my subject matter (ie:gender). Even tho there are different point of views, im going to give you MY P.O.V. Im here to better women, because i feel better suited for it, ill let men coach other men. Im tired of hearing that im "male bashing"... since when was speaking the truth male bashing?? I speak on whats really happening out here, whether its pretty or not. Ima tell yall the good, the bad, and the very ugly tendencies of men and relationships. Hopefully i can help someone not make the same mistakes as myself or other women. Im not bitter, i dont have repressed anger, im not biting peoples heads off for no reason, im not scorned, but i AM smart enough to know what i WONT tolerate when i meet the next man in my life. I know my self worth, and as long as i know that i will not give two shits about what opinions people may have upon me. I blog to let you be a part of what happens to me in my journeys in life, some fun, some hurtful, but its all real. You can either hold on, or hop off, but either way this train is gonna keep moving..

Friday, March 5, 2010

A Must Read: From SexyPhresh Blog

"Lies & Betrayal" By: Tasha Gonzalez

Have you ever spent your life with someone and realized everything they ever said to you has been nothing but a big fat lie? Well I have and I've realized that men is not looking for love cause he could have the most perfect woman laying next to him who does everything for him and love him with all her heart, but see to him all of that doesn't matter. He wants a woman who FITS into his plans, into his time and into his schedule; what she wants or how she feels doesn't matter to him. If he doesn't have any plans for her in his future he will dump her and all of the things she thought they had never existed to him besides the sex & attention she was giving to him.
Any man knows that he could have any girl he wants, so to him the girl he's with is only an option until the next girl comes along or when he just feels like relationships isn't for him anymore. You're not his priority until he puts a ring on your finger. You are not his until you're married. So ladies we do we feel so tied down when we are with someone when they don't even priority us? Why do we choose to stick around with one man who's still on the hunt for something else? Lets not give them the opportunity to fuck us over! Have as many options as you like - the key is to not have sex with them, just be out there open and ready for new opportunities just like he does. Let him KNOW that he's not the only one because you're beautiful and you can get anyone you want. He's nobody until he fully commit to you. Just because a man says he loves you (and trust me I been told I been loved to and still got dumped!) doesn't mean he plans to stick around with you. When a man says "You are too good for me/You are too good to be true" he's basically saying it because he feels bad about something he's not treating you right with. He feels guilty for all the love he's getting from you but isn't giving back to you. He knows you are wifey material but since you're not apart of his future plans he will dump you, it's just a matter of time.
Us girls need to be stronger and not fall into a bunch of crap. We need to open our eyes and LISTEN to the words he's saying. ACTIONS speak louder than words, if he's not doing anything to show you he loves you he's probably full of shit.


Source: SexyPhresh