Sunday, April 10, 2011

Who Are You?

When you look in the mirror who do you see? Is it the same person everyone outside your window sees? Who do you believe? Yourself or everyone that passes an opinion your way? Your identity is what puts your mark in this world, a part of your legacy when you leave it. Unfortunately many people struggle with this simple concept of knowing who they are.

People have identity issues for so many reasons. It could be a matter of ethnic background, insecurity with their physical appearance, the need to fit in a certain group of people in society. Whatever the reason may be we all have had a certain question fall into your brain, "Who am i"?

Its so important to not only know who you are, but to own it and have no regrets about it. Otherwise you will be adding to the list of things in life that will give you frustration. Having an identity also helps you solidify your confidence, command respect without having to fight for it. Theres nothing worse than not knowing who you are and what you stand for.

Some people live decades before coming to terms with who they are. I am 27 and i didnt "find myself" until i was 25. You go through so much in life and the older you get you realize "this is who i am and its okay". You get more comfortable with yourself as the years go by. I grew up with a biracial mother, and spent the majority of my years living in the suburbs. I was never exposed to the things inner city people have. I went to schools where until highschool i was the only black girl in the classroom. No one looked like me. I didnt grow up with much money but wasnt on welfare. My parents did the best they could to not expose me to their struggles. Never lived in a house, moved from apartment to apartment ever 2 years due to evictions. Never got an allowance like most white families do for their kids. Long story short just because i grew up in white areas didnt mean i lived like one. Even though theres white people around me didnt mean i didnt know what is was like to be black. My family is Black! Ever since i moved into the suburbs i had adversity from white and black kids. They have no issues making you feel "different". It didnt take long until i was called a nigger in front of an entire classroom by a boy that felt like i didnt belong there. I was the token black person. If you are around nothing but white people how do you learn how to act black???

It wasnt until middle school when i was exposed to more black peers. By this point i had been influenced by white culture. I was excited to see more people that looked like me, unfortunately black kids at my school wasnt kind to me either. They tried to beat me up, made fun of me everyday, excuded me from many things, all because i acted too "white". So to blacks im not black enough and to whites im too black for them. Theres nothing worse than not knowing where you fit in. So what does a young person do? Be whatever you have to be to fit in, learn to adapt to any group of people. I felt like a chameleon, constantly changing myself to seem normal to others. When i go home its the only place i felt like myself. I listened to rock, because of my sister, and gangsta rap because of my brother. I was always influenced by no 2 same things at the same time. Back then i felt weird for it, but as the years go by you get sick of trying to be what others want you to be and having to explain to them why i do things they dont do. its too much work. So when you get sick of justifying who you are you simply realize you are fucking AMAZING and ACCEPT YOURSELF!!

I will be everything mixed into one and not feel bad about it anymore. If someone calls me weird i will say thank you with a smile. If a black person says i talk white i will say "no i speak properly", If a white person says im acting super black for when i get mad i will say "no i am upset and ready to slap the shit out of you like the next person, anger has no color". I enjoy being the only person like me, its what makes me unique and if someone doesnt accept me for me than they are closed minded and dont deserve to have me in their life. A person that loves and cares for you should like you for who you are and should never make you feel uncomfortable for it.

Be who you wanna be folks! If you have issues with how you look if you cant change it then ACCEPT it and embrace it. Every day we get older so how you look today is gonna be the best you will ever look. When you get old and wrinkled you will wish you appreciated your looks during your youth. Theres no such thing as acting one race or another, everyone has been exposed to different things in life which makes them who they are, not color. Wear whatever the hell you want, listen to the music you want, Act HOW YOU WANT!!! Theres no wrong way to be except for not being you! Fitting in isnt important, being yourself is. Who are you??? Only you have the answer for that.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

How To "Deal"

If anyone knows about heartache its me. I've been through it all. When i see another girl going through something my instinct is to soothe them from that pain. Men seem to have no conscience these days but i want girls to understand a thing or two about men.

Men are very simple creatures, not because they are easy to deal with, but rather they aren't smart enough to be complex and have layers lol. What you see is what you get with a man. If they don't seem interested then 9 times out of 10 they aren't. Men don't waste time on things and if they don't seem into you then the best thing for you to do is move on to someone who appreciates your time. So many girls want a man that doesn't even take the time to give you what you want out of him. Theres more that we want from a man besides his physical, we want his heart too. When you have a mans heart he will be singing the chorus to Bruno Mars "Grenade". Men will do ANYTHING for a woman if he's truly invested in you, if he makes you suffer even for a second then hes not worth the attention. Why give him what he wants if he doesn't give you what you want? People that truly love you are willing to compromise.

Getting over someone is hard but not impossible. A man taught me that the best way to get over someone is "distraction". As soon as you start thinking about them simply start doing something else to distract yourself from dwelling on your thoughts. Stay busy, be around people that make you laugh, have new goals for yourself. Dwelling on the past only keeps you where you are, and you want to keep life going. No man is worth you being sad, EVER. Hes not calling, not returning your calls and theres a reason. If he wanted you HE would be with you. Its as simple as it sounds..

If he doesn't want you than its his loss, God must have someone better for you.. in the mean time enjoy life, you will be okay.. i promise :)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Overcoming Adversity

Adversity is something that is inevitable in life. As long as you are on this Earth people will test you, Cars will break down, you run out of resources, friendships come and go, relationships wear down heavy on you, Lights get cut off, deals fall thru, jobs get lost, minds get lost. With all of the bad things that happen to us on a daily basis we must learn something, there will ALWAYS be adversity, but its not about what you go thru, its how you move past it. Nothing lasts, good or bad, you have to find a way to put life on cruise control. Its not as easy as it may seem and im sure i need to take my own advice but people need to know that everything can be turned around. You just need faith, and patience. If you look back on all of the tough times you endured, what do you think about them today? Are you better? Stronger? Regret how you handled it? Do you feel better than you did at that time? When you go through hell, rock bottom, you can only go up. If you think that way then everything will be easier to go through. I personally have been through alot but to me its growing pains and in the future i have the choice to either let it defeat me or let it condition me.

So what, we're not allowed to have weak moments? We cant make a mistake? Be wrong about how they went about something? The answer is YES! People cant be perfect all of the time, forgiveness heals all..if you have friends or family that TRULY have your back and love you then their loyality will never go awry. If it does than that shows they never had your back in the first place. Seperate yourself from people that dont show you that they love you. Support from loved ones is CRUCIAL in tough times. Thats when they are needed the most. Theres no time for egos and animosity. See past that and wonder why they are really acting out. Know who they are deep inside and not judge them by the action itself. When you know and love someone you give them the benefit of the doubt, and when someone recognizes their faults then let the negativity go.

When adversity is all around you support is so important. No one in this world can make it alone, and if they can that world for them is a lonely place. Be a good person and stay positive, even when others cant. Negativity gets you nowhere. As soon as people recongnize that people arent perfect 365 days a year its easier to deal with them. If i gave you hell for one day and i gave you laughter and love for 364? Then know grudges and negativity isnt worth holding on to, its foolish. When the dust settles you will see things for what they really are.

Tough times dont last, Tough people do..

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Quote Of The Day

"A wise man told me don't argue with fools
Cause people from a distance can't tell who is who" -JayZ

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Ex Chronicles: Popping up after a Breakup

If you are in a relationship and one of your exes "randomly" calls you to see how you are doing, please know its not for innocent reasons. Know the signs of trouble.

If you are broken up with an ex, everyone knows the best way to move on is to cut all ties with them. When you start a new relationship, the best thing for you to do is start fresh without the baggage.

So now you have been in a relationship, a happy one, and an ex reaches out, do you allow that? If you want to hear what the ex has to say, thats fine but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES to you let the communication continue! If the ex is trying to get back into your life THERES A REASON!! Ill let you know from experience its never a good reason. If your ex is even thinking about you then they havent moved on. That innocent situation can get from bad to worse.

If your partner is not cool with the opened lines of communication then STOP. The only way its ok is if you were already cool with them BEFORE the relationship so that the partner knows up front and they will have the choice whether to be a part of that new relationship or not. But NEVER rehash an old relationship well into your new one, that will raise many suspicions.

What people must know is if the ex knows you are in a new relationship and they continue to interact with them like "they used to", please know they DON'T respect you or your relationship. Dont tell me "she got a man, she don't want me".. if she had a man she'd be respecting her own relationship and NOT reaching out to your ass... i bet if her man knew what she was doing then he'd have the very same issue with her actions. The ex does not care how she is affecting your relationship, and thats not a person that truly cares about you, so why bring that person back in the picture?

If you respect your relationship then leave that ex where they belong, GONE! Its not about the partner being insecure, its about them being smart enough to see when something isn't right and acting on it.

If you want a lasting relationship than leave your exes in your PAST!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Happy Wife, Happy Life..

Fellas, You wanna know how to have a lasting relationship??? KEEP US WOMEN HAPPY! As long as the woman is not happy, NOTHING will be happy.. Ask any old head how their 35 year marriage has lasted so long, most likely they will say "just go along with whatever the wife says". When the woman is happy then everything else will continue to be in working order. The woman keeps everything together, especially in a family setting with children. We take care of the kids, the home front, do all the cooking, chores, carpooling, keeping track of all the bills, organization, errands, and lastly we keep our man happy in bed. All the men need to do is keep their dick in their pants, maintain loyalty and bring home the bacon.

Dont argue with us, its a losing battle for you. We will always have the last word (whether we're right or wrong) and we remember EVERYTHING you say so if you contradict yourself be prepared for us to throw it at you during a fight. Do you wanna be happy or do you wanna be right??? The choice is yours, but if you want a happy relationship then cater to your woman and pick your battles with her. Let some shit roll over... its not worth the attitude your woman is gonna give you for the rest of the week.

Make sure you make your woman feel special everyday. Like Rihanna sings make her feel like the only girl in the world. As long as you are giving us a daily boost of compliments it will benefit you in the long run. Notice the small changes she makes. If she changes her hair, new outfit, smells good, TELL HER! You will stay in her good graces.

Most importantly when we talk to you, we dont want you to fix our problems or even want your input, we just want you to LISTEN!!!! Just seem interested in whatever she wants to talk about (even if you could care less). Thats very important to a woman. If i talk about my nail polish for 20 mins, my boyfriend will give me 100% of his attention out of respect for me. The more you are interested in our interests the more we will be open to yours. Now that my boyfriend shows interests in my favorite things now i watch and talk about sports with him more consistently. It makes us more open to the things you enjoy.

Do not make constant negative observations about us. We are already self conscious about ourselves as it is, dont add to it. Dont tell us you hate our hair a certain way, or we wear too much makeup, thats not up to you to say. When we ASK for your opinion only THEN do you give us your observation. Something like that will ruin our entire mood. Dont pick us apart, women hate that.

Moral of the story is, the woman is always right, compromise, and just agree (even if you dont want to) and you will have a happier woman..

Keeping Balance With Work and Home

A very big issue people tend to have is mixing their work life with their off time. If you mix the two you may find yourself in a lot trouble down the line. Know what to do and not to do.

The best way to balance your personal life and professional life is to have time management and boundaries. Keep them very separate if you can. As soon as work begins, leave your personal life at your doorstep and when you leave work leave that at the job. Theres nothing worse than everyone at work knowing your business, including your boss. The less everyone knows about you the better. NEVER tell anyone your business at work, keep it on a professional level. Don't tell them about any social networking sites you are on (because you will be looked up at some point).

Theres 2 people in you, the person at work and the person outside of work. Its okay to have more than one side. The problem with everyone knowing the places you hang out, the online sites you are on, if its in any way in breach of contract with your job then its possible for you to be laid off.

If you are calling out sick for reasons other than being sick than cover your bases and keep your ass home! If someone sees you at the mall and your supposed to be sick it will cost you. Also don't blab to your co workers about the party you attended the night before and how you are too hung over to go to work. Keep your story consistent.

The workplace is no different than grade school. Age doesn't matter, there will always be someone that conducts themselves like a high schooler. Miserable people will always want to make others around them miserable and thrive on drama. If there is something you don't want ANYONE to know then simply don't reveal it to anyone in conversation. I hate to break it to you but no one keeps secrets. Tell your co-workers only things you don't mind everyone knowing about you.

Personal calls and episodes need to be taken care of in private. Deal with them away from your work area on your breaks. No emotional breakdowns either, don't look like you aren't capable of keeping it together.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you fraternize at work. In a lot of places you can also get in trouble with that. Most flings don't last anyways so keep your flirting outside of work and away from someone working at the same place. You don't want to be the talk of the building.

Making associates or friendships are okay, but do that knowing that the more they know about you, the more they can hurt your job.

To put it in a nutshell, be smart about your actions at work. We are in an unstable economy and our jobs are imperative for survival. Also for younger people each job you are with will be attached to your name forever. Keep your work resume clean and attractive to look at.

Sunday, March 13, 2011


Welcome to my page Excuse My Attitude! I have been working hard to make this site official. New look, no longer a blog, but an official site! Come back tomorrow for new postings all throughout the day, not just once a day like most sites. I hope to make this a success, but i cant do it without your support. Tell all of your friends to follow my page.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

What is Success???

I had to speak my mind about people and their twisted values in life. There was an article about a C-List Video Chick/Semi Actress that said having Red Bottoms is necessary if you want to "elevate" in life. It honestly disgusted me because the lives celebs live just isnt the "norm". To me they live in a bubble. The average person cannot afford 500 dollar shoes, people got bills.. Its bad enough that society is messed up because we normal insecure folks look to celebs to figure out how to live their lives, in other words "keeping up with the joneses". People need to get their priorities in order. If you have red bottoms, a top of the line vehicle, and renting an apt in the projects than you need to reevaluate your life. Alot of those celebs get all of those expensive clothes, shoes, bags for FREE.

Material things do NOT define happiness, do NOT define success. Create your own level of happiness and success. Expensive things are nice but it doesnt define you. Im not spending 500 dollars on shoes that probably wont even be relevant in 5 years. Its a waste of money. You should invest your money on longterm success and goals. A home, funds for your growing family. Invest in things that doesnt Depreciate so quickly. Save your money for things that MATTER. Make sure your parents are well off, help friends in need, secure your future, F**k some red bottoms.

All you people are doing by buying all this expensive shit is securing the future of the person that makes the shoes. You spent your last on a pair of 500 dollar shoes and guess where it went??? In some old fogies pocket name louboutin in france.. hes gonna wipe his ass with your money cause it cleans his ass better than toilet paper. Think about that.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Rest In peace Tinkerbell

i am a huge animal lover and for the past 2 years i was privileged to take care of the cutest, feistiest little hamster.. her name was Tinkerbell and she was quite the diva.. she made me smile everyday.. now thats shes gone i want to show a youtube video of the day i got her in her honor.. i love you princess.. xoxo

Saturday, March 5, 2011

New Look, New Year

I haven't been on here in a minute. Im not gonna lie, if i dont have the passion to put into my blog then im not gonna be on it.. i wanna post when i am putting 100% into this page. Hope everyones year has been good so far. Look out for my new posts coming on the way..