Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Writers Block: "Making it Work" By MiQah Davis

I wrote this about a week ago and the last thing i felt like doing was posting it because now as i read it im trying my best to believe it. I hope it does good for someone and they get lucky, enjoy.

For so many years people have been seeking to find what many of our ancestors from many generations ago had, even our parents, and that is longevity in a relationship. I can make this sound like a school lesson or I can keep it real and relate more to my fellow readers. When it comes to knowing the fundamentals to a successful relationship, our generation is about as clueless as the aspirations that they have about their own futures. We don’t need statistics to prove that men are not a stable role in a family household. Most people did not grow up in a home that had a mother and a father, and all of the kids came from the same parents. Dad isn’t working on Wall Street and mom isn’t baking cookies. The structure of the family home has been absent for many years and I strongly believe the way someone was brought up has a lot to do with how they turn out. Their views on what a relationship should be will have a lot to do with how they view their parents and what the decisions they made while raising them. Most people that come from a structured home will most likely want the same for themselves, male or female, and if they happen to find someone from the same background they will likely have a smoother transition to that key of happiness. They both have seen first hand what it takes to make a relationship work. The viewed every obstacle their parents endured and saw how they overcame it. They learned about loyalty, how nothing is more important than the family and its foundation. How do I know this you may ask? I am a product of that. My parents have been together for 30 years and both sets of my grandparents were together till their passing. My family comes from a tree of togetherness, strong women that knew how to care for their men. My parents as individuals aren’t perfect, but they both found a system that worked for them and stuck by each others side ever since. Seeing that shows me that its possible to have the same.

So you’re asking yourselves “so does that mean everyone that came from a broken home is doomed?” No, not at all, it just means it has a lot to do with some of us were not given the right grooming for a good relationship. All it means is find someone that shares the same goals, aspirations as you. If you both are on the same page, chances are you will last a lot longer. LISTEN to your partner, communicate, communicate, and communicate!!! Your partner needs to feel understood, be willing to make changes if needed to make things better between you two. Don’t expect to know everything coming into the relationship; be willing to be a student as well as a teacher. As long as you have a strong foundation built on trust, the will to try, honesty, and love you will always get through the turbulence that life brings us. Know that youre not perfect, and neither is your partner, expect mistakes, be able to forgive and not let the past ruin your present and future with them. In my mind the only reason to not continue a relationship is if someone cheats, or puts their hands on you, or simply because you don’t feel like you work (no system). Please know a relationship is hard work, and a very big investment, don’t build something just to allow it to come tumbling back down.Have FAITH and be ready to work hard and you will see greater results.

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